❝Imam Ahmad (r) said, ‘When a man asks for a woman’s hand in marriage he should inquire about her beauty; if he is pleased, he should ask about her religiosity; if he is pleased, he should marry her and if he isn’t pleased then his rejection is based on (him not being satisfied with her) religiosity.
One shouldn’t ask about religiosity first, whereby if he is pleased with it he asks about her beauty and if he isn’t pleased with it he rejects her, as this rejection becomes based on her beauty and not on the account of her religiosity.’❞
Meaning, it is as if religion turned less significant as he rejected her based on her looks even though he was happy with her religiosity. So by asking about her beauty first and religion after, it does not give rise to this issue.
In case some readers are thinking whether this contradicts the statement of our beloved Messenger ﷺ :
فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
❝Choose the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e. – may you prosper).❞
There is no contradiction at all as what Imam Ahmad said was to ask about beauty first and then religion so that if it came down to rejection, it would be based on the beauty and not the religion. So, this is elevating the religion and giving it prime importance in selection, not downplaying it as wrongly understood by some.
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