Salam Aleikum wa Rahmetullahi wa Baraqatuhu;
dear everyone, I would need some desperate help with someone. I will explain thoroughly my situation.
Before we start please everyone give advice as close to the Qur\’an and Sunnah as possible.
So.
-Coming from a poor country, one of the best possible ways to secure a better future was moving to another country (which I will not specify), so through hardship and troubles I finally made it there. But I\’m still alone (without my family) here; I came here with a specific job contract(that I unfortunately need to finish as it is very hard and exhausting to change it) in a small village. That being said, the same way 4 other guys also came. No problem everyone from the same country everything should go alright, right? Well at first it did, but this hierarchy was developed where due to my sticking to the Qur\’an and Sunnah(trying my best ofc) and trying to be of the best of manners, nice and kind, and speaking good words, I was labeled the underdog. Now I really don\’t mind that since I tend to be more alone and don\’t really like dealing with people and especially not dwelling to deep in their personalities as this only brings trouble. But the problem is, that (even though we don\’t work at the same place, we are all in interconnected because other people living in the house work for example at the same place as me and their place and so on) we have to take these training sessions every week, you might as well call it school. There I need to take the same bus with these guys AND am in the same class as them, walk the same road. Now that\’s a lot of dealing with people in a day, and before you say take another bus or something I wish it were possible, but moving on. One of these guys is one year older than me but a lot younger than the other 2(one went back to the home country), and he has nice looks, nice beard, intelligent, a lot of things Allah blessed him with. Now here\’s the big big problem. This guy for whatever reason doesn\’t like me. Every single time he likes picking on my, and the thing is, I\’ve always been weak to judgment, and Elhamdulilah for Islam, that Allah prohibited us from mocking and ridiculing people, and judging them. Now, physically-wise, I am extremely fragile and weak, and I when I say extremely, I mean extremely, however I don\’t mind since Allah has granted me very good health, Elhamdulilah. I am only mentioning this as I think this might be one of the reasons, where he gets all this confidence from, but the other is also these other guys encourage and agree with him(while they\’re with him). Now this really got my confidence low, imagine just having a normal conversation or saying something and you just get judged by someone who thinks that they\’re better than you in every way. At first I didn\’t mind but through time the jokes and the judging got worse and worse which got my confidence at a really low level. Just getting my confidence lowered would have been alright by the whole issue of the topic is that, it\’s really really damaging my imaan. I can\’t stick to the Sunnah with these people as I always need to respond back when they\’re talking smack, but most of the time I remain silent. I still haven\’t fallen to ridiculing them and sinning against myself Elhamdulilah, but I know that, that day one time will come(In a year I can move out). These guys are backbiters, liars, don\’t pray and have nothing to do with Islam. Of course at first I told them of the consequences of their sins and what they\’re doing is wrong, but it didn\’t stop them. This has been eating me alive, just when I thought I was strong enough that I didn\’t have to pray against anyone, in the spur of the moment where they made fun of me and oppressed me so bad, I ask Allah to destroy them from the bottom of my heart; I thought i could never do that, and after everything ive went through trying to perfect myself, and my imaan and become an obedient slave of Allah swt, I\’ve been driving back to where I was before Islam. I\’ve always had to deal with bullies, extremely hard ones that have left me without sleep nights and nights and have eaten my heart out until Allah guided me Elhamdulilah, because of my fragile body and my kind manners, I\’ve always been picked upon, which caused me severe trauma that I still haven\’t recovered from.
My brothers and sisters, please advise me in the best possible way on how to deal with these people. How to keep my imaan, how to gain confidence through Islam and so on.
Jazakallahu Khairan.
‘Wasalaam aleikum.
dear everyone, I would need some desperate help with someone. I will explain thoroughly my situation.
Before we start please everyone give advice as close to the Qur\’an and Sunnah as possible.
So.
-Coming from a poor country, one of the best possible ways to secure a better future was moving to another country (which I will not specify), so through hardship and troubles I finally made it there. But I\’m still alone (without my family) here; I came here with a specific job contract(that I unfortunately need to finish as it is very hard and exhausting to change it) in a small village. That being said, the same way 4 other guys also came. No problem everyone from the same country everything should go alright, right? Well at first it did, but this hierarchy was developed where due to my sticking to the Qur\’an and Sunnah(trying my best ofc) and trying to be of the best of manners, nice and kind, and speaking good words, I was labeled the underdog. Now I really don\’t mind that since I tend to be more alone and don\’t really like dealing with people and especially not dwelling to deep in their personalities as this only brings trouble. But the problem is, that (even though we don\’t work at the same place, we are all in interconnected because other people living in the house work for example at the same place as me and their place and so on) we have to take these training sessions every week, you might as well call it school. There I need to take the same bus with these guys AND am in the same class as them, walk the same road. Now that\’s a lot of dealing with people in a day, and before you say take another bus or something I wish it were possible, but moving on. One of these guys is one year older than me but a lot younger than the other 2(one went back to the home country), and he has nice looks, nice beard, intelligent, a lot of things Allah blessed him with. Now here\’s the big big problem. This guy for whatever reason doesn\’t like me. Every single time he likes picking on my, and the thing is, I\’ve always been weak to judgment, and Elhamdulilah for Islam, that Allah prohibited us from mocking and ridiculing people, and judging them. Now, physically-wise, I am extremely fragile and weak, and I when I say extremely, I mean extremely, however I don\’t mind since Allah has granted me very good health, Elhamdulilah. I am only mentioning this as I think this might be one of the reasons, where he gets all this confidence from, but the other is also these other guys encourage and agree with him(while they\’re with him). Now this really got my confidence low, imagine just having a normal conversation or saying something and you just get judged by someone who thinks that they\’re better than you in every way. At first I didn\’t mind but through time the jokes and the judging got worse and worse which got my confidence at a really low level. Just getting my confidence lowered would have been alright by the whole issue of the topic is that, it\’s really really damaging my imaan. I can\’t stick to the Sunnah with these people as I always need to respond back when they\’re talking smack, but most of the time I remain silent. I still haven\’t fallen to ridiculing them and sinning against myself Elhamdulilah, but I know that, that day one time will come(In a year I can move out). These guys are backbiters, liars, don\’t pray and have nothing to do with Islam. Of course at first I told them of the consequences of their sins and what they\’re doing is wrong, but it didn\’t stop them. This has been eating me alive, just when I thought I was strong enough that I didn\’t have to pray against anyone, in the spur of the moment where they made fun of me and oppressed me so bad, I ask Allah to destroy them from the bottom of my heart; I thought i could never do that, and after everything ive went through trying to perfect myself, and my imaan and become an obedient slave of Allah swt, I\’ve been driving back to where I was before Islam. I\’ve always had to deal with bullies, extremely hard ones that have left me without sleep nights and nights and have eaten my heart out until Allah guided me Elhamdulilah, because of my fragile body and my kind manners, I\’ve always been picked upon, which caused me severe trauma that I still haven\’t recovered from.
My brothers and sisters, please advise me in the best possible way on how to deal with these people. How to keep my imaan, how to gain confidence through Islam and so on.
Jazakallahu Khairan.
‘Wasalaam aleikum.
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Staff replied 2 years ago
THM Admin – Question Summary:
How to deal with oppressive people as a practicing person, without resorting to Jahiliyah acts.